


Haikyuu Group Chat Stuff Facebook Messenger!

by JLCCofCreatonWriting



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chaotic second years, F/F, F/M, Forgive me if updates take long, I can make rarepairs-, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm bad at making jokes, Kinda horny and feeling old third years, Literally every team in the series, M/M, Mentioned smut but it aint happening, Multi, Pure and innocent first years, This fic is lgbtq friendly, U guys get what i mean, What Is Wrong With ME, my first chatfic, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:35:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24717652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JLCCofCreatonWriting/pseuds/JLCCofCreatonWriting
Summary: As said in the title, welcome to Haikyuu Group Chat stuff! This is your average chatfic with your favorite Haikyuu characters! Featuring almost all the teams! Established relationships will be metioned as well. (I'm bad at summaries)
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Eventual Bessho Kazuyoshi/Anahori Shuichi, Fukiage Jingo/Onagawa Tarou, Hyakuzawa Yuudai/Komaki Yuzuru, Inuoka Sou/Kuguri Naoyasu/Shibayama Yuuki, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Hinata Shouyou, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira, Koganegawa Kanji/Sakunami Kousuke, Matsukawa Issei/Hanamaki Takahiro, Narita Kazuhito/Kinoshita Hisashi, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I just wanted to try this for once. My humour's not so good so please bear with me.🙏🙏🙏. Enjoy!! In this chapter, the first years appear first, learning a revelation about a rather innocent-looking pair of Nekoma first years along with an apathetic Nohebi first year.

Concrete- Hinata  
Milkman- Kageyama  
YamaGUCCI- Yamaguchi  
SaltyShima- Tsukishima  
THeStArsAtNiGHt- Yachi  
KindaItchy- Kindaichi  
blep- Kunimi  
MAKEMETHEYOyoMan- Goshiki  
LEg- Lev  
DogCat- Inuoka  
Baby- Shibayama  
helpme- Kuguri  
Tol- Onaga  
IronFence- Sakunami  
Chuck- Koganegawa  
SnowKitty- Teshiro  
Ummm- Fukiage  
Runana- Runa  
I'mBlue- Aoi  
Broccoli#22- Chigaya  
ohno- Riseki  
Besshie- Bessho  
VansOffTheWall- Hyakuzawa  
Shucchan- Anahori

|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|

\----------  
1:52 PM  
\----------

Concrete: ALRIGHT GUYS TIME FOR AN AFTERNOON MEETING!

Saltyshima: Who made you boss?

Concrete: MYSELF OF COURSE! MIND YOU IM THE ADMIN! STINGYSHIMA!

YamaGUCCI: What are we going to talk about anyway, Hinata?

Concrete: I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, YAMAGUCHI!

Milkman: Stop using caps lock, dumbass! It gives me a headache just by looking at it!

Concrete: Fine then!

Concrete: Moving on!

Concrete: i have received intelligence from a source i shall not name, that there has been established relationships amongst us

Saltyshima: Wow, I'm surprised you knew how to use those words. 

Concrete: Back on topic! 

Concrete: who is it? I honestly want to know.

Concrete: no harm here i just wanted to know that's all.

blep: isn't that going through other people's businesses?

Concrete: We're all friends here so we can probably trust each other!

KindaItchy: probably?

Concrete: *cough* surely *cough*

helpme: okay honestly i would appreciate it if you would stop texting and let me rest

Tol: why not mute it?

helpme: screen's cracked. I don't have enough money to have it repaired yet.

Tol: I see.

Concrete: i know they're secrets but you could tell us right guys?

LEg: then their not secrets anymore

Saltyshima: *they're

Concrete: **_(Concrete replied to LEg)_ **of course they still are! Its just a secret kept among people other than you.

Saltyshima: You're making no sense whatsoever.

Baby: HI GUYS! I JUST WOKE UP SO DID I MISS ANYTHING?

helpme: Yuuki no caps lock pls. It hurts

Baby: like i care

YamaGUCCI: *le gasp*

helpme: my insides… i feel so betryaed…

Saltyshima: betryaed

Milkman: betryaed

Tol: betryaed

Chuck: BETRAYED

Chuck: AH WAIT I LOST

Chuck: FRIG

Baby: I was only kidding, Nao-kun! I'm sorry if i hurt you ;-;

DogCat: Heya um Yuuki, your kinda giving Yasu a heart attack

helpme: he learned from the best…

helpme: i can die happily now.

IronFence: oi Hinata is it okay if I invite another first year here?

Concrete: yep! It's very much fine Sakunami!

IronFence: Hold on

**_IronFence added Runana, Ummm and I'mBlue to 1st Years Chat._ **

Ummm: What is this?

I'mBlue: I was just scrollin through the web before I had this notif

I'mBlue: And from the name these are first years!

I'mBlue: Hiiii!

Runana: Hello everybody! I'm Kuribayashi Runa, 1st Year Manager in Johzenji.

THeStArsAtNiGHt: Wow! Another 1st Year Manager! Hello Kuribayashi-chan!

Runana: Ah, um, hello? I don't really know who you are but it's really nice to meet you!

THeStArsAtNiGHt: Ah! I'm Yachi Hitoka also a 1st year manager and I belong in Karasuno.

Runana: I see! I hope we become good friends then!

THeStArsAtNiGHt: Likewise!

IronFence: So, so so pure….

**_DogCat added SnowKitty to 1st Years Chat._ **

SnowKitty: I- I won't even ask what's going on.

LEg: Tamahiko-kun!

SnowKitty: Yeah okay, Haiba, don't talk to me just yet. 

SnowKitty: Just because you've been avoiding me all week doesn't mean i could just forget about that pen you borrowed from me

Ummm: drama bomb

SnowKitty: Lev! That pen had a charm! A charm you hear me?! And it was a fluffy white cat! It was made out of pure cotton! My friend made that for me! If you lost it, I swear I will plead Kuroo-senpai to make Inuoka a regular again, and replacing you.

LEg: WAAAAHHH NO NO NO! TESHIRO TESHIRO NO NO NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE! LOOK LOOK

LEg: I'LL LOOK FOR THE PEN I SWEAR! MAYBE I LEFT IT SOMEWHERE AROUND THE CLASSROOM! PLEASE DON'T DO THAT!

SnowKitty: I'm giving you yet another week, Haiba. And don't you forget about that.

LEg: YESSIR!

helpme: that was some good stuff

Concrete: Okay wait, I want to ask questions.

DogCat: Go ahead, Shoyou.

Concrete: Okay, so from what i heard from my intelligence again (which i still won't name)  
  
Concrete: Sou are you in a relationship?

DogCat: Of course not! I mean why would I date anybody? I not that smooth like Yamamoto-senpai or Kuroo-san. 

Concrete: But then Lev told me you and Shibayama were in a relationship.

DogCat: LEV?!

Baby: LEV???

DogCat: **@LEg** why'd you tell Shoyo?! I thought you would just keep that to yourself?

LEg: oops i may or may not have said it to the others…

SnowKitty: see Haiba its not just me who wants your head.

MAKEMETHEYOyoMan: Frickin called it, pay up Kogane!

Chuck: DAMN IT

MAKEMETHEYOyoMan: You too, Kunimi!

blep: i didn't bet on only both of them, I added Kuguri to my bet so i ain't laying out a single coin until the Russian dingus confirms it

MAKEMETHEYOyoMan: oh you're right. Well then! Kags? Saku?

Milkman: Man, i should've betted that first one…

Concrete: AHAHAHAHAHA! I love seeing Kageyama turn broke because of losing a bet!

LEg: U guys ready? 

KindaItchy: Just tell us already

LEg: Well, Inu told me that him, Shiba AND Kuguri were FWB

Runana: FWB?! WOW EXTREME

I'mBlue: Such bravery

SnowKitty: I'm honestly impressed, Shibayama

Baby: This wasn't suppose to come out! Sou what did you tell them?! (>\\\\\\\\\<)

DogCat: I'm so sorry guys!!! Lev forced me to or I would have to find Teshiro's pen for him! God knows where he put that pen!

LEg: and i thought you would've done it too :(

DogCat: like heck i would

YamaGUCCI: Now now no fighting u guys know the rules.

**_Ummm sent an Image to 1st Years Chat._ **

Ummm: Man, he looks so cute when he's asleep.

IronFence: woah woah Jingo… Is that Onagawa-senpai?

Ummm: Yes, why?

Chuck: DUDE NO WAY?! U GUYS R DATING???

Ummm: What?? No! He was just helping me study

Runana: i smell a ship

YamaGUCCI: Hell yes! You should go talk to him!

Ummm: I already have! We're close!

KindaItchy: Tell us

KindaItchy: u have a crush on him?

Ummm: idk maybe?

Ummm: he does look cute

Ummm: his sleepy look, the fact that im taller than him, his hair especially and don't get me started on how he slurps his noodles!

IronFence: now that you mention it, you have been looking at Onagawa-senpai way too much

IronFence: after you two accidentally fell on each other during practice… last? Last week was it?

Chuck: YEP! LAST WEEK!

IronFence: mhm last week

Ummm: if you want to put it that way…

Concrete: then go talk to him Fukiage! 

Ummm: he doesn't look interested in me one bit so wats the point?

THeStArsAtNiGHt: But it wouldn't hurt to give it a try right?

Runana: yeah how would you know? It was the same for Misaki-senpai when she kept telling me that Okudake-senpai wouldn't like her back

Runana: and then suddenly one day he asked the team to help him make a grand gesture to Misaki-senpai to ask her out

YamaGUCCI: awww that's so cute

LEg: *sigh* i wish i knew how to make a big gesture

MAKEMETHEYOyoMan: this gc is just about us complaining on how our crushes are so far from our reach?

Ummm: yep

LEg: yep

I'mBlue: yep

**_Milkman added Broccoli#22, ohno and Besshie to the 1st Years Chat._ **

Broccoli#22: Kageyama? What's this?

Besshie: Ah

Besshie: I feared this day would come

**_\--- > Besshie left the chat._ **

ohno: what's his deal?

_**Milkman added Besshie to the 1st Years Chat.** _

Besshie: Noooo

Besshie: dammit

Besshie: Kageyama i don't even know half of the people here so what's the point of me being here

Milkman: well you're a first year and I thought that you would like to be here

Broccoli#22: well i think this a good gesture, thank you Kageyama :)

Milkman: :)

Concrete: :) Welcome!

YamaGUCCI: :)

Chuck: :)

Besshie: >:(

ohno: are you that first year from kamomedai?

Besshie: nooooo im not ;)

ohno: why are people (besides my team) such weirdos???

Saltyshima: Hi, I'm Tsukishima, the normal guy.

ohno: Oh um Riseki Heisuke from Inarizaki High

Saltyshima: that was supposed to be a joke but okay you do you

\----------  
9:39 PM  
\----------

helpme: and here I am learning that Seguro-san and Akama-san made out in the clubroom yesterday and made a big mess

helpme: Numai-san and Takachiho-san are laughing their asses off, Daishou-san is scolding them, Hiroo-san is cleaning up the mess and Sakishima-san is beyond scarred.

helpme: help me

Baby: Nao-kun are you okay???

Besshie: you sound fine to me

Broccoli#22: its nine in the fricking night why are you guys still at practice??

helpme: We did extra today

Ummm: 🎶When you love someone~ you open up your heart🎶

Ummm: 🎶When you love someone, you make room~🎶

IronFence: god Jingo stop acting like Onagawa senpai left u or smth

Ummm: I just can't okay???

Ummm: he's too cute!

Saltyshima: Go ask him tf out

YamaGUCCI: Tsukki don't be mean he's pining

**_Concrete changed YamaGUCCI's name to MamaGUCCI_ **

MamaGUCCI: why???

Concrete: lmao

Concrete: we need a group mom

Concrete: and the most obvious is yams

Tol: GUYS GUYS GUYS

MAKEMETHEYOyoMan: WHAT WHAT WHAT

Tol: i got adopted what does that mean?

Saltyshima: oml killme

THeStArsAtNiGHt: Tsukishima-kun, don't be rude.

THeStArsAtNiGHt: Who exactly adopted you, Onaga?

Tol: my seniors?

Tol: but that's not what im here for

Tol: im kinda lost

MamaGUCCI: lost??? Where are you???

Tol: i was just shopping with Komi and Sarukui-san but i split apart with them while i looked at something

Tol: and now i don't know where i am

Tol: i think i ended up in the abandoned part of the mall

Baby: omg Onaga calm down okay? Breath. If there are strangers don't talk to them

Tol: there's a guy staggering towards me and i don't like that

DogCat: RUN

Tol: shit  
____________________________________________

It was dark, and he was all alone. He regreted looking at that mechanical owl in the toystore. Who knew that he would end up on the abandoned part of the mall? Of course, he didn't.

The only people he had were his friends which he was currently chatting, but then again his phone was on 10% and he knew it wasn't going to last long.

Exiting the chatroom, he turned on his phone's flashlight, and started scoping out the area.

"This is really creepy…" Onaga mumbled, hugging his satchel closer, in fear that there were bandits supposedly hiding behind the shadows.

Until suddenly, groaning could be heard from not too far on his left. He flashed the light of his phone on the source of the sound and jolted upon seeing a figure, slowly coming towards him. 

He didn't know if it was purely on instinct or he planned on doing this, but his legs started backing away from the approaching figure. He opened the chatroom again and started to run as fast as he can, hoping he would lose that figure who had then started to pursuit him but he was faster. Thank God.  
____________________________________________

Tol: HES CHASINF MW

THeStArsAtNiGHt: OH GOD

MamaGUCCI: KEEP RUNNING

Baby: DONT PANIC-

Besshie: S T R A N G E R

helpme: D A N G E R

Saltyshima: *He's chasing me

Besshie: HOW DO U KNOW WATS GOOD FOR ME

helpme: THATS MY OPINIONNNNN

Tol: AHHH IM OP 5 PERVENT-

Tol: GTG

Saltyshima: *I'm on 5 percent

Milkman: U dont have to correct everything he says

LEg: what do you think we are

LEg: dumb?

Saltyshima: in fact u are

____________________________________________

He ran as fast as he can, already pocketing his phone, trying to see through the total darkness surrounding him. 

………

He bent over. Resting his hands on his knees, breathing for air, as he managed to outrun the figure that followed him.

"Ha…. Ha…. I hope I lost him…." The tall owl muttered to himself, as he looked behind him, seeing the same figure getting closer and closer.

Onaga was visibly surprised. How could this staggering figure follow him so quickly? He was thinking of running again, before taking a closer look at his surroundings. His eyes widened before realizing. 

He was in a dead end.

Wataru Onaga. Death by some probable killer, chasing him in some abandoned part of the mall. The tall boy just stood there. Feet firmly planted on the dirty ground, fists tightened until his knuckles turned white. The figure got closer, Onaga could practically hear the shallow breaths of this man. 

"Boy…" The man whispered. His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, but loud enough for Onaga to hear. "Are…. You perhaps lo-lost?" The man inquired, his voice just a tad bit louder than the first time. Onaga was still really scared, so the only thing he could was nod. His voice seemingly not wanting to escape his throat. 

"I see…. Follow me." The man offered, his voice clearer and less strained. He turned on his heel, going forth towards a hallway, that lead somewhere. Onaga didn't know for sure.

"What are you waiting for, boy?" 

"A-ah, c-coming!" Onaga answered back, still really nervous. He chose to follow this man instead, in fear that he would get hurt or worse, if he didn't. 

He followed the old man, who walked with him towards some kind of door, with a rather dim light behind it. "Don't worry, boy. I won't take you to some kind of torture room or anything if that's what you're thinking about. I'm here to lead you back outside." The old man explained, seeing Onaga relax after saying all of that. 

"I-I see. I'm sorry for running away…." Onaga replied, thinking he should apologize to the clearly aged person walking beside him, for making him run after such a long period of time.

"It's fine, boy. I get it. You were scared. It happens all the time. I'm a guard here you see, helping children or people who get lost here back to the busy part of the mall. I don't get paid anymore, but the feeling of helping people is a greater reward, don't you think?" The old man chuckled, looking over to the taller boy, staring at him with such awe and admiration. 

"Yo-you should be given an award!" Onaga exclaimed, stopping both of them in their tracks.

"Nonsense, boy. Such a common act shouldn't be rewarded. Any normal person could help lost people." The old man dismissed, smiling up at Onaga. 

"Then you should at least be remembered! Mr….?" Onaga said once again, asking the old man, so as not to be rude.

"Yokitama Anokai. A pleasure to meet you." The old man, now known as Yokitama-san, extended a hand towards the owl.

"Likewise! Onaga Wataru." The boy said, smiling cheekily at the adult before him.

"Ah we're here. There you go, Onaga. The door here will lead you to the Shoe area of the department store. I hope I had been some assistance." Yokitama-san said humbly, bowing lightly before Onaga. 

"You've been such a great help, Yokitama-san! Thank you!" Onaga exclaimed once more, bowing lower and sincerely thanking Yokitama.  
____________________________________________

"ONAGA!" That loud shout of his name had confirmed that Sarukui and Komi had arrived to where he had been. His battery was still somehow alive and he had texted Sarukui of where he was quickly. 

"Sarukui-san! Komi-san!" Onaga called out, flailing his hands around, calling his two upperclassmen's attention. 

"Wataru, where have you been?!" Komi screeched, outrageously jumping around, trying to scold the younger one. 

"Woah, woah, babe calm down, 'kay? I'll take care of this." Sarukui said putting his hand on the smaller owl's shoulder. 

…  
____________________________________________

BONUS:

_~When Onaga was offline~_

helpme: tch what an old vine u used there

Besshie: and u responded so u aint any different

helpme: at least i know whats dead or whats trending

Besshie: u think im not a dedicated memer?

helpme: oh yeah? Did u get past NNN?

Besshie: three times in a row

helpme: *le gasp*

Besshie: wat? R u impressed?

helpme: no not at all

Besshie: ?

helpme: that just comes to show how single u are lmao

ohno: oh god-

Saltyshima: im wheezing-

LEg: XD

MamaGUCCI: are you two going to continue burning each other or am i going to have to kick you two out?

helpme: sorry mom

Besshie: i know i want to leave but that day is not today

Besshie: im sorry mom 

helpme: dont do it please

MamaGUCCI: I wont do it

MamaGUCCI: ON ONE CONDITION

helpme: i knew there was a twist

Besshie: well shi-

MamaGUCCI: you two say sorry to each other 

MamaGUCCI: sincerely mkay?

helpme: fine

helpme: im sorry Bessho Kazuyoshi-kun

Besshie: and im sorry Kuguri Naoyasu-kun

MamaGUCCI: better ^^

SnowKitty: should i shave my eyebrows?

LEg: pfff-

Baby: Tamahiko-kun? what no-

DogCat: '-' i dont know u do u

SnowKitty: i see…

LEg: i cant imagine u without ur eyebrows-

SnowKitty: neither can i

SnowKitty: but a clear future is there for me without you in it

LEg: :((

SnowKitty: ^^

DogCat: ^^^^

Baby: ^^^^^^

LEg: >:((

SnowKitty: hoes mad

MamaGUCCI: TAMAHIKO-KUN LANGUAGE-

SnowKitty: i used english cant u see that?

MamaGUCCI: *facepalm*

Chuck: pfffff-

Tol: GUYS IM BACK

IronFence: whats up back

Besshie: hey back

helpme: wassup back-kun

Tol: :((

Baby: awww we're sorry Onaga-kun wb^^

Tol: thanks Shibayama

Concrete: GUYS WE NEED MORE MEMBERS HERE-

Saltyshima:why the hell do you wanna pull more people down closer to hell?

I'mBlue: oml-

Besshie: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Concrete: TSUKISHIMA-

MamaGUCCI: now now no fighting-

MamaGUCCI: Hinata you can continue whatever you wanted to say and Tsukki don't intervene please…

Concrete: thank you Yamaguchi-kun

Saltyshima: fine

Concrete: as i was saying

Concrete: new members! We need some

Tol: ah! I know someone!

KindaItchy: same i'll add him here

Concrete: YUSSS

**_Tol added Shucchan to 1st Years Chat_ **

_**KindaItchy added VansOffTheWall** _

Shucchan: oh! Yet another groupchat-

Shucchan: and i thought the Setter's groupchat was scary (=^=)

VansOffTheWall: huh

VansOffTheWall: maybe this is better than the wing spikers chat

blep: tf is Mr. Tree doing here?  
____________________________________________


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People talking about the team Moms and the team Dads- how bout the team uncles? Tis their time to shine. Akagi's a bad cook, Sasaya stayed up late, Konoha steals Washio's sweaty clothes and other chaotic nonsense. The 2nd Year Uncles join in on them! And what's this? Kai's in a relationship now?-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 Y'all! Sorry this took me weeks for updates maybe because I was so caught up in chores and nearing of online classes. But hope you all enjoy this chapter^^.
> 
> Characters in this chapter:
> 
> JesusIsTheAnswer- Asahi  
> NobuKai- Kai  
> BenkeiBenkei- Reon  
> Old man- Sasaya  
> Californian Makki eater- Matsukawa  
> Californian Makki- Hanamaki  
> Boots- Sarukui  
> Doraaa- Komi  
> Twix- Washio  
> Snickerss - Konoha  
> HoeKagi- Akagi  
> Black Butler- Oomimi  
> THis iS SpArtA!!!- Hanayama  
> Hebibi- Takachiho  
> MyHirooAcademia- Hiroo  
> heartbrokensomanytimesi- Daishou  
> UrShitBestfriend- Nozawa  
> oBARATiddy- Obara  
> Pantalons- Onagawa  
> NOYAThunder- Nishinoya  
> Kino-Crap-Ta- Kinoshita  
> VolleyballNaruto- Narita  
> I am Wet Egg- Watari  
> GinGinny- Ginjima
> 
> +Second Years:
> 
> EnNoNoWay- Ennoshita  
> BuddhaWannabe- Tanaka  
> Kodzuken- Kenma  
> Gutz/Gutty McGutterson- Taketora  
> Perishable- Fukunaga  
> FutaCutie- Futakuchi  
> Wol- Aone  
> NiceLegsDaisyDukes- Akaashi  
> Creampuff- Yahaba  
> Adidas- Kyoutani  
> Shirabeauty- Shirabu  
> CupO'Noodles- Kawanishi  
> AwesomeMegaUltraDestroyer- Terushima  
> MegaUltraDestroyerAwesome- Bobata  
> DestroyerMegaAwesomeUltra- Takeharu  
> CoolLegitnessGorgeous- Higashiyama  
> LegitnessGorgeousCool- Iizaka  
> GorgeousCoolLegitness- Numajiri  
> FindTheDifference- Tsuchiyu  
> TheHotterHalf- Atsumu  
> TheBetterHalf- Osamu  
> kinky- Suna  
> Hoshuttlecock- Hoshiumi  
> Shumai- Hirugami  
> Mt. Everest- Hakuba  
> Sakusa K./JustALil'BitHeEhEe- Sakusa  
> I-bros òwó- Komori
> 
> (Also: #MatsuHana #SaruKomi #CoupleGoals #JohzenjiMatchingNNs)

[•~Weird Uncles Chat~•]

\----------  
8:45 AM  
\----------

JesusIsTheAnswer: good morning uncles^^

NobuKai: good morning Asahi

BenkeiBenkei: good morning everyone

Old man: good night guys

Snickerss: wait what the heck Sasaya?

Black Butler: oh no….

Old man: yep! You guessed it-

Doraaa: niceeeeee

BenkeiBenkei: go get some sleep Sasaya.

Old Man: u cant tell me what to do benky

BenkeiBenkei: it's Reon.

Californian Makki: what are you bitches doing so early in the morning???

Old Man: good morning to you too, Makki

Californian Makki Eater: babe go back to sleep

Californian Makki: mkay anything for you Issei

Snickerss: these two are literally relationship goals- hope all tho-

Twix: Akinori.

Snickerss: yes, Tatsuki?

Twix: Aki, have you seen my shirt? Like the grey tight one

Snickerss: no- i havent-

Twix: Aki, i have to go jogging and i need to wear that as a uniform for my jogging squad

Snickerss: i told you i dont know where it is-

Doraaa: i think i saw it on his bed one time

Doraaa: like under his pillow

Doraaa: i looked at it and it was still damp af-

Twix: Aki…. we talked about this….

Snickerss: no we havent! If you needed it you could've just said so! I'll gladly wash it for you^^

Twix: sure go ahead and wash it for me

Twix: I'll just wear something different

Snickerss: ur welcome Tastuki^^

Twix: Dont think I'll forget about this Aki

Boots: oooh

HoeKagi: guys! Give me suggestions on what to cook for breakfast-

BenkeiBenkei: Omurice?

NobuKai: pancakes perhaps?

HoeKagi: oof okay-

HoeKagi: i'll just go with omurice

HoeKagi: hope i still got my cooking skills

Doraaa: good luck Kagi

HoeKagi: thanks 

HoeKagi: its hard to impress Ren but sureee i'll try-

THis iS SpArtA!!!: i swear if i see those two making out one more time-

Old man: what a pleasant surprise- my thoughts are the same Hana-yan.

THis iS SpArtA!!!: they're just- Takeru's loud-

THis iS SpArtA!!!: they invited me to a sleepover, only to learn that they were just going to act all lovey-dovey in front of me….

THis iS SpArtA!!!: i dont like being single :((

BenkeiBenkei: the real reason why most of us are uncles because we're single

Old man: and third wheels might i add-

THis iS SpArtA!!!: even Teppei and Shiro were hugging each other close!

NobuKai: there there Hanayama. I was in your situation before.

JesusIsTheAnswer: before?

BenkeiBenkei: before??

Old man: before???

THis iS SpArtA!!!: ?????

NobuKai: oh.

NobuKai: i forgot to tell you guys

Doraaa: omfg did you finally get with Yaku-

Snickerss: oh what a reVELATION-

NobuKai: what? No

NobuKai: Yaku's taken remember? It's someone else.

Doraaa: oh im glad 

Doraaa: but now i have nothing to gossip about in the Liberos chat :((

JesusIsTheAnswer: who is it Kai?

BenkeiBenkei: so you're not single anymore?

NobuKai: im sorry to say that I am taken Oohira

Old man: kicked out of the Singles Groupchat then-

NobuKai: yes…

THis iS SpArtA!!!: awww thats sad

JesusIsTheAnswer: who is it tho???

Old man: is it me or Asahi is like being too nosy for his own good?

THis iS SpArtA!!!: yeah

JesusIsTheAnswer: probably just you

NobuKai: whoever you are, you are doing a bad job at imitating Asahi

JesusIsTheAnswer: waaaah

JesusIsTheAnswer: what are you saying Kai-san??? It is me, Asahi!

NobuKai: Asahi doesn't call me Kai-san

Old man: definitely not Asahi

THis iS SpArtA!!!: who the hell are you and what have you done to Asahi-

JesusIsTheAnswer: chillllll

JesusIsTheAnswer: this is Suga 

JesusIsTheAnswer: good morning!

JesusIsTheAnswer: all chill here my uncles Asahi's making me some breakfast(^_^)v 

JesusIsTheAnswer: i just took his phone because I was bored

JesusIsTheAnswer: he's still really sleepy too so he wont notice me hehe

BenkeiBenkei: at least now we know it isnt Nishinoya that took his phone

Old man: speaking of that, you guys wanna add the 2nd Year Uncles?

NobuKai: i really dont see why not^^

Old man: yusss hold on-

_**Old man added oBARATiddy, Pantalons, NOYAThunder, Kino-Crap-Ta, VolleyballNaruto, I am Wet Egg and GinGinny to [•~Weird Uncles Chat~•]** _

NOYAThunder: AHHH FINALLY THE UNCLES CHAT!!!

VolleyballNaruto: all your hard work actually paid off.

Kino-Crap-Ta: im very much surprised.

Old man: is no one going to talk about Obara's nick name-

Pantalons: why tho?

oBARATiddy: One word. Captain.

Pantalons: ahhh

oBARATiddy: but im kinda living up to it

oBARATiddy: i feel…. Hot.

Pantalons: wow

Kino-Crap-Ta: so wait-

Kino-Crap-Ta: Kai-san's in a relationship now???

VolleyballNaruto: oh thank god i thought he'd be single forever-

Hebibi: wazzup wazzup my ankles-

Hebibi: ooh new members!

MyHirooAcademia: Welcome to hell

heartbrokensomanytimesi: *uncles

Hebibi: good morning Suguru!

heartbrokensomanytimesi: gmorning Yoshi

HoeKagi: ah. The snakes are here.

Hebibi: wassup hoe

HoeKagi: eyy thats my bitch- wazzup Takachiho!

Black Butler: its too early for this Michinari

HoeKagi: shut your mouth hole Ren and eat your breakfast

Black Butler: its undercooked Michinari-

HoeKagi: shhhh…. Eat~ ^^

Black Butler: *stares at him and proceeds to shove the clearly undercooked food in his mouth*

Old man: woii dont bring ur couple breakfast in this chat full of singles

I am Wet Egg: i second that!

Old man: eyyyyy

HoeKagi: oh wait! Are we adding dudes in now?

Old man: do you know other uncles?

HoeKagi: yep! Hollon-

HoeKagi: met this dope dude at the nationals.

**_HoeKagi added UrShitBestfriend to [•~Weird Uncles Chat~•]_ **

HoeKagi: yo my man! Hows it going??

UrShitBestfriend: ohh waddup Michi

UrShitBestfriend: gtg tho im kinda busy rn

HoeKagi: ahh gotcha

NobuKai: ughhh they invited themselves over again….

BenkeiBenkei: oof good luck Kai

NOYAThunder: ASAHIII-SANNNNNN!!!! **@JesusIsTheAnswer**

JesusIsTheAnswer: did someone mention me? Suga took my phone.

NOYAThunder: ASAHI-SAN!! (° v °)

JesusIsTheAnswer: N-Nishinoya?

NOYAThunder: YEP! IM HERE NOW!

JesusIsTheAnswer: oh wow 

JesusIsTheAnswer: good morning to you then (^w^)/

Pantalons: i hate this.

JesusIsTheAnswer: w-what? Are you okay there ;-;

Pantalons: sorry i wasn't pertaining to you guys. It's just.... low calorie noodles is stuffing the whole pantry and i dont like that -^-

oBARATiddy: do you want me to come over and buy you the usual?

Pantalons: if it's not a bother

oBARATiddy: not at all

NobuKai: oya oya is this the uncle chat that Kai hides from us?

Old man: shit- we've been infiltrated-

I am Wet Egg: ahhhhh a dad!

Californian Makki: i heard we've been infiltrated-

Californian Makki Eater: oh shit a dad-

NobuKai: wow what a warm greeting

Old man: best scram old man-

NobuKai: says the one who's name is literally old man

NobuKai: wait-

NobuKai: i realized something

NobuKai: That snake is an UNCLE?!

MyHirooAcademia: impressive

Hebibi: i thought he'd never asked

heartbrokensomanytimesi: his discovery deserves an award 

MyHirooAcademia: Indeed ��

NobuKai: >:((

NobuKai: but srsly ur an uncle? I thought you were a mom or smth

heartbrokensomanytimesi: to be clear Saki's more of a mom than i am. Im more of a big bro than a mom

NobuKai: no wonder

NobuKai: i also dont see you in the Dads' chat so thats out of the question

heartbrokensomanytimesi: yeah enough of ur nerd ass give Kai his phone back

NobuKai: ahm no

NobuKai: dudes busy with his bf

HoeKagi: this is a literal mystery-

Doraaa: u mean, "Who is Kai's s/o?"

HoeKagi: yeeeee

NobuKai: i know who it is but im not telling

HoeKagi: boooo :((

NobuKai: he also told me to not so :p

Doraaa: :((

NobuKai: he'll be able to tell you guys later maybe

Doraaa: :D

HoeKagi: :DD

BenkeiBenkei: why are you guys so happy and curious about Kai's love life?

HoeKagi: because we're aunties

Doraaa: yeeee dedicated ones

Doraaa: speaking of aunties Makki just jumped into chat then left the next moment

HoeKagi: it is Saturday Morning so….

Doraaa: oH

Doraaa: yEah  
____________________________________________

\-----------  
1: 32 PM  
\-----------

GinGinny: wheN LiFe gIveS YoU leMonS-

I am Wet Egg: *muisc*

GinGinny: no but like- Kita-san came over and gave me LeMonS- 

Pantaloons: ohoho

Pantaloons: what kind of lemons?

oBARATiddy: no. Onagawa we dont read fanfiction like you do okay? No one understands that.

Pantaloons: but you do right? And you're not a no one

Kino-Crap-Ta: oooohhhhhh i ship it~

NOYAThunder: HELLL YEAHH-

oBARATiddy: as much as im very flattered Onagawa, u have a boyfriend so no. 

Pantaloons: there could always be two right? ;))

I am Wet Egg: ooh that's some lowkey shade righy there

VolleyballNaruto: definitely

oBARATiddy: but still if i did have you as a boyfriend how do you think Fukiage would feel if you preferred me over him?

Pantaloons: you're right….

oBARATiddy: exactly. Never choose over people YOU favor more than people you actually love and love you back.

GinGinny: *claps* beautiful *claps* that's a cut

oBARATiddy: oh thank god that was hard to write….

UrShitBestfriend: aight bacccc

GinGinny: Nozawa-san! (°w°) /

UrShitBestfriend: hey kiddo

UrShitBestfriend: so is this gc for like what- the third wheels?

VolleyballNaruto: maybe or the ones that aren't exactly the main parental figures in the team but more or less watches over the kids like some adult u know

Kino-Crap-Ta: uncles.

I am Wet Egg: and a whole lotta singles!

I am Wet Egg: maybe only a few but u get the point

UrShitBestfriend: man speaking to you kids is like, magical

NOYAThunder: ikr pretty cool

UrShitBestfriend: yo u mentioned that there a lotta singles here?

UrShitBestfriend: that's pretty sad

I am Wet Egg: well all of us started as single here ofc

I am Wet Egg: but we didn't expect so many of us to fall in love

VolleyballNaruto: true true

I am Wet Egg: so there's me, Sasaya-san, Reon-san, Obara-kun and Ginjima-kun

oBARATiddy: Kai-san should be on that list but we just learned that he was in a relationship just recently

GinGinny: wat about u Nozawa-san?

UrShitBestfriend: yeah im in a relationship

GinGinny: ah thats cool

NOYAThunder: yall wanna find out who Kai-san's s/o is?

I am Wet Egg: this calls for an investigation

oBARATiddy: and investigation means to question the other years?

Kino-Crap-Ta: stop being a party pooper, baratiddy

oBARATiddy: oh no nothing like that i was going to volunteer and do it

Kino-Crap-Ta: oh let's do it together!

VolleyballNaruto: babe-

Kino-Crap-Ta: i wont cheat on you with another buzzcut, you idiot

Kino-Crap-Ta: u can come too

VolleyballNaruto: :))

oBARATiddy: why do people always make me the third party in a relationship???

Pantaloons: take it as an honor baratiddy :)))

oBARATiddy: yeah no :))))

NOYAThunder: ;)))))

oBARATiddy: U TOO NOYA???

NOYAThunder: LEZ GO TO THE SECOND YEARS CHAT!!!

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_

"Nobuyuki, did you take one of my plushies again?" A whine made itself be heard by the vice captain's ears.

"Tamahiko, I did not. Why would I do that-" 

"Then what's my cloud plushie doing in your drawer?"

"I- what?" Now that caught Kai's attention. Turning away from his source of attention (his Mathematics homework), he saw his boyfriend, Teshiro, holding up a small and adorable cloud plushie, whilst being wrapped im the comfort of Kai's blankets. Kai looked at the expression of his partner, thick eyebrows furrowed just slightly, a small frown on his face.

"Well?" Teshiro droned on, shaking the plushie. "I…. Don't know how that got there."

"Nobuyuki."

"I swear, I don't know anything."

The vanilla-haired teen raised a (quite thick) brow. "Really now? Then how the hell-" 

"I think Kuroo put that there." Kai sighed, remembering him visiting Teshiro one afternoon, and those two decided to tag along. I mean, Kai and Teshiro didn't mind, as long as those two didn't make too much trouble. 

"How would Kuroo-san put this there when-- oh." Teshiro stopped, his face expressing realization.

"You see? Hehe." Kai chuckled, turning back to his homework. "If you need anythin', don't hesitate to tell me, 'Hiko." He reminded as he bent back down on the desk to continue his homework.

A pout made its way through Teshiro's face but he understood that his boyfriend needed to focus on his homework right now too. The amount of time he gives into volleyball is already enough to make him unfocused on his studies, so of course as a fellow athlete and partner, he understood that.

"M'kay…."

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_

|•[Supreme Court]•|

BuddhaWannabe: Im tellin u teru- its 'Life Is not Daijobu' not 'Life Isn't Daijobu'

AwesomeMegaUltraDestroyer: but isnt that like the same???

MegaUltraDestroyerAwesome: nah man the first one sounds cooler

DestroyerMegaAwesomeUltra: and funnier too-

AwesomeMegaUltraDestroyer: mkayyy if Kazuma and Haru say it its probably right

Creampuff: how??? You're smarter than them and their just in Class 1-2???

EnNoNoWay: it's how their logic works ig

NOYAThunder: WAZZAHP JURY-

NOYAThunder: THE JUDGE IS BACK ON COURT!

BuddhaWannabe: NOYA-SAN!!!

Gutz: NOYA-SAN!!!

NOYAThunder: no no, Ryu, Tora, its Judge Noya to you

BuddhaWannabe: Judge Noya *0*

Gutz: Judge Noya *o*

AwesomeMegaUltraDestroyer: YO YUU SUP MY MAIN MAN-

NOYAThunder: YUU-JI! SUP BRU-

I am Wet Egg: Noya-kun! Don't be distracted! 

NOYAThunder: OH YEAH!

Pantaloons: we have come here to question some certain demons in this hellish chat

FutaCutie: If you're talking about Teru, Me or generally everyone in this chat then go do so

Kino-Crap-Ta: summoning: **@Kodzuken @Perishable @Gutz**

Gutz: I have been summoned! 

Perishable: ( ° v °)/

Kodzuken: this better be good or im muting this chat again

Kodzuken: i swear this is the sole reason of my messenger lagging

Shirabeauty: you're not the only one

GinGinny: aight

GinGinny: **@Gutz** do u know who Kai-san's bf is?

oBARATiddy: shouldn't we be subtle Gin?

VolleyballNaruto: yeah we should be subtle

GinGinny: ah right subtle

Kino-Crap-Ta: ARE ANY OF YOU KAI-SAN'S BF???

EnNoNoWay: Kino, Narita meant subtle not louder.

Kino-Crap-Ta: what is subtle? Doesn't that mean straight to the point

EnNoNoWay: smh

Pantaloons: anyways

Pantaloons: any answers?

Perishable: - > -),

Kodzuken: Kai-san told us to not tell right?

Gutz: YEP! IT'S TESHIRO!!!

Kodzuken: …he's not ready for that yet…

NiceLegsDaisyDukes: Oh what a shame for Yamamoto-san.

TheHotterHalf: F

TheBetterHalf: F

kinky: F

Kodzuken: this confession deserves a promotion

_**Kodzuken changed Yamamoto Taketora's nickname to Gutty McGutterson** _

Shirabeauty: wow for a smart person like you Kenma i didnt know you'd set such a lame nickname

Kodzuken: exactly lame.

Gutty McGutterson: …

AwesomeMegaUltraDestroyer: AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

BuddhaWannabe: LMAO

MegaUltraDestroyerAwesome: W H E E Z E

Creampuff: you guys understood that???

GorgeousCoolLegitness: i mean why wouldn't we? It was so obvious

Gutty McGutterson: GAHHHH! I FAILED KAI-SAN AGAIN!!!!!

Perishable: u always do •-•)/ 

NOYAThunder: MYSTERY SOLVED THANKS FOR THE HELP GUYS! ESPECIALLY TORA!

I Am Wet Egg: understood! Let us report back to the Uncle Chat!

oBARATiddy: ofc  
____________________________________________

  
[•~Weird Uncles Chat~•]

_[A few minutes later]_

I am Wet Egg: i did not expect suddenly falling asleep after the talk with the other 2nd years-

GinGinny: ah same-

NOYAThunder: THE NEWS!

Pantaloons: ah right-

BenkeiBenkei: oh you guys are finally back

Kino-Crap-Ta: Ohira-san, we figured out who Kai-san's bf is!!!

Old man: ah he already told us

Old man: when y'all were inactive

Hebibi: he fessed up my bois

oBARATiddy: I-

CalifornianMakkiEater: Haha these kids are boomers amirite babe

CalifornianMakki: Yea u always rite babe

CalifornianMakkiEater: Im rite and ur my left. Side by side we stand 2gether baeb

CalifornianMakki: yes baeb. I'll always b ur side my rite

heartbeenbrokensomanytimesi: alright enough with that horrible flirting it's making me jealous

MyHirooAcademia: no no continue- I wanna see if they start sexting

Snickerss: Hiroo you kinky bastard

MyHirooAcademia: thank you. It was my pleasure being a bastard

UrShitBestfriend: SoMebOdy help-

UrShitBestfriend: my kitchen's slowly being the lost city of Atlanta-  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Bonus: *In Supreme Court***

Mt. Everest: GUYS HELP I ACCIDENTALLY BROKE NOZAWA-SAN'S SINK AND NOW THE WATER IS FLOODING THE HOUSE-

Shumai: calm down, Gao.

Sakusa K.: call a plumber dammit

Sakusa K.: you are all making my phone vibrate out of its place on my desk and its ANNOYING

Hoshuttlecock: worse than Komori-san?

Sakusa K.: Motoya vibrates more

I-bros òwó: not so bad then^^

**_kinky changed Sakusa K.'s nickname to JustALil'BitHeEhEe_ **

JustALil'BitHeEhEe: I do not like this name one bit istg Suna-

kinky: no no keep it

TheBetterHalf: it actually… looks more natural…

kinky: ikr

TheHotterHalf: Samu go to bed its 9

TheBetterHalf: Sleep is for the weak Tsumu

Hoshuttlecock: IS GAO A DROWNED NOW?

Hoshuttlecock: sorry capslock was on

I-bros òwó: Gao isn't exactly a zombie so he wouldn't be a drowned just yet??

Hoshuttlecock: oh right

Shumai: silly Kourai-kun

Mt. Everest: Thank god 'Zuru fixed it

Mt. Everest: but now his parents are home

kinky: F

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the first notes I wrote there some names of 2nd years that i havent used yet in this particular chapter but I will however use it in future chapters :DD. Anyways, Thanks so much for reading! Stay safe everyone^^

**Author's Note:**

> And so that concludes the first chapter of Haikyuu Group chat stuff! I know I might not be as hilarious as other writers out there but at least I tried. Thank you for reading! Please stay tuned!


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